This week, Marco Rubio—the thirsty little senator from Poland Spring (by way of Cuba)—dove head-first into the kiddie pool of Republican candidates for president.
It was a risky move, given the pool's depth (read: lack thereof).
Obviously, he was hoping to make a big splash with his announcement—and he would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling burritos.
Unbeknownst to Rubio, shortly before he took the stage, Hillary Clinton and her gang of corporate crime-fighters had stopped for lunch at Chipotle.
This caused a tidal wave of breathless coverage to form, and Rubio's message quickly drowned in its wake.
But, really, that's just the tip of the iceberg, as far as his problems go; beneath it all, he's just not that impressive.
Morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Ohio Gov. John Kasich (R); Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe (D); Sen. Mike Lee (R-UT); Roundtable: Former White House Senior Advisor David Axelrod, Republican Strategist Steve Schmidt, Helene Cooper (New York Times) and Kathleen Parker (Washington Post).
Face the Nation: Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL); Former Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley (D); Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV); Roundtable: Dana Milbank (Washington Post), David Catanese (US News & World Report), April Ryan (American Urban Radio Networks), John Dickerson (CBS News) and Nancy Cordes (CBS News).
This Week: Rep. Michael McCaul (R-TX); Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO); Roundtable: Cokie Roberts (ABC News), Republican Strategist Matthew Dowd, Republican Strategist Ana Navarro and LZ Granderson (ESPN).
Fox News Sunday: Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC); Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT); Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT); Roundtable: Brit Hume (Fox News), Jackie Kucinich (USA Today), Republican Strategist Karl Rove and Juan Williams (Fox News).
State of the Union: Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN); Sen. Ben Cardin (D-MD); Former Sen. Jim Webb (D-VA); Ali Rezaian.
Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: an examination of 2013 sarin gas attack on Damascus (preview); a report on the TED Talks lecture series (preview); and, an interview with Bob Petrella, a man capable of remembering virtually every day of his life (preview).
On Comedy Central...
Jon Stewart readied himself for a very long election season. (04/14/15)
The Daily Show:
Monday: Author Gayle Tzemach Lemmon; Tuesday: Actor/Comedia Jeff Garlin; Wednesday: Former White House Press Secretary Dana Perino; Thursday: Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson.
And Larry Wilmore examined some of the most far-out conspiracy theories. (04/16/15)
The Nightly Show:
Guests TBD.
Elsewhere...
Rand Paul's wife argued that he can't be sexist (all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding), since some of his best colleagues are women.
Sen. Rand Paul's wife, Kelley Paul, defended her husband against accusations of sexism during a Tuesday morning appearance on "Fox & Friends" by pointing out that he worked with "very accomplished, high-achieving female" surgeons. [...]
"That is not who Rand is -- at all," Kelley Paul said. "Rand's entire professional career is working with female surgeons. His longtime partner in his ophthalmology practice was a very accomplished, high-achieving female surgeon. They worked together for over ten years and now she's a huge political supporter. He goes back to Kentucky and does all
his pro bono work with another very prominent female surgeon."
Meanwhile...
Ann Coulter—who is a woman—argued that voting should be made more difficult.
During a segment on how poorly informed American voters are, Fox News host Brian Kilmeade asked Coulter whether it bothered her that her vote counted just as much as someone who knew nothing about politics.
"More than I can say," Coulter said. "I just think it should be, well for one thing, a little more difficult to vote. There's nothing unconstitutional about literacy tests."
Fellow guest and executive director of the Accountability Project, Nomiki Konst, pointed out that literacy tests were made illegal under the 1965 Voting Rights Act.
Throughout the discussion, Coulter maintained that voting was too easy.
And, speaking of difficulties...
NRA leader Wayne LaPierre has had more than enough of this affirmative action in the White House nonsense.
Wayne LaPierre has a message for America: while addressing a crowd of Second Amendment advocates at the NRA's 144th annual meeting, the NRA's CEO and Executive Vice President said, "eight years of one demographically symbolic president is enough."
Or, to translate from racist code to English: we're tired of these uppity minorities; let's make the White House white (and male) again.
He would go on to reiterate his recent attacks on Obama and Clinton, based on his supposed "analysis" of the Democrats' respective stances on gun control. He said that Obama's remaining "650 days are the most dangerous" and there's "no telling how far President Obama will go to dismantle our freedoms."
S.O.S.
- Trix